I Secretly Love that My Baby Cries When Others Hold Her

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My baby girl is five months old.  She is my fourth child, and I am a 40 year old mother.  Don’t get me wrong I don’t want her to cry all the time but after having my first three kids in my twenties this older and wiser mommy knows she will stop doing it eventually.  She will stop wanting to be in my lap all day, and sleep next to me.  She will stop crying and stay at school with other little friends while my heart breaks and the minutes seem like hours till its time to pick her up.  She will actually be excited to have a sleep over at her BFF house.  She will spend more time caressing her cell phone than giving me a hug. She will find the perfect man like I did and forget to call Mom for days, weeks and I regretfully I know for a fact that it could be months.

Research and experts call it separation anxiety or stranger anxiety. I call it MY TIME and enjoy it.  I smile when someone asks to hold her and she cries.  The other day we went on our daily walk.  She was in her stroller looking at me and at the world around her, happy, giggling, being her sweet little self.  An older lady stopped next to us and asked to see her and how old she was.  She was loud, she was a stranger and as soon as she got closer a loud scream was heard and little legs started kicking fast.  The lady backed out immediately and told me …. your child is “Huraña” the spanish word for shy, hermit -like, you need to take her out more often.  My reaction…. A BIG HUGE SMILE!!

I don’t want her to be called names but hey she will grow up too soon and be part of a society and community where it is nice to greet strangers while you walk.  To smile and in some instances chat to make someone’s day.   One day she will go out for eighteen months like her Mom and Dad did and share a message of hope and talk to all the strangers she can during the day.

Now it’s MY TIME, for her to take her naps in my lap while I work.  To sleep next to me during the night.  To breastfeed whenever she likes.  So don’t get upset if you ask to hold her and she cries.  She doesn’t do it all the time.  But she does.  If you want to hold her is because you are my friend. You will be around to see her grown up and who knows she might want to go over to your house every Sunday after church, until you have to help her understand Sunday is a good day to be with the family too.

+Karla Arostegui

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